The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the
Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland .. I am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'

'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your
army?'

'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me
Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the
pub. That makes eleven!'

Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army
waiting to move on my command.'

'Begoora!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on.
We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.

'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'

Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000
armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we
last spoke.'

'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on!
We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's
ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the
Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you,
Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are
surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'

'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I
am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'

'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of
heart?'

'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets
of crisps, and we decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners
.'

Agus is dócha gur cheap duine éigin go raibh an ráiméis mhaslach chiníoch sin greannmhar?

Aontaim nach n-eireodh sé in aon comortas coiméide ach b'fheidir go bhfuil líomhaintí ciníochais beagán iomarcach? Is muintir féinmuiníneach sinnse anois - ní gá linn maslaí a brath as scéalta seafóidigh mar sin.

(Ba mhór dom cuairt a thabhairt go focal.ie chun cúpla tearmaí a fháil amach don teachtaireacht seo - níl mo chuid ghaeilge chomh mhaith fós chun páirt a glacadh sa díospoireachtaí tróimchuisigh!)

(Message edited by An_chilleasrach on March 24, 2009)

Begoora? I can only congratulate you on your release from Guantanamo,where you were forced to watch Finian's Rainbow starring Tommy Steele on permanent rotation as part of some CIA 'Psyops' programme.

But your nightmare has ended now.No more need for 'begoora',ok.Níl aon tinteán mar do thinteán féin!

So,get well soon.Slán abhaile.

Agus is dócha gur cheap duine éigin go raibh an ráiméis mhaslach chiníoch sin greannmhar?
-----------------------------------------------------
A Thaidhgín a chara, Tóg go bog é,willya! Ná bí chomh goilliúnach sin!!
Ní raibh mé ach ag athrá scéil meidhreach gan masla ar bith a thabhairt ar ár
gcine!
Maireann i bhfad croí éadrom!

...and we decided there is no...

Ag gáire leathan

An meafar é "packets of crisps", b'fhéidir, agus é ag déanamh tagairt indíreach don Ghorta Mór? Ní raibh morán istigh iontu, is dócha, sa scéal green, mnáire thú!.

An bhfuil a fhios ag éinne cad í an sanasaíocht do "begorra"?

"Begorra"

"be" = "by" Not a mispronunciation but the older English pronunciation preserved.
"gorra" = "God" A euphemism. People in the past had an aversion to using names like "God" or "Jesus" directly.
So "By God".

I've heard people say things like "Begob" and "Begodden" :)

(Message edited by James_Murphy on March 28, 2009)

Harp, I mean no offence to you. The joke is mildly amusing. I can imagine Pat Shortt and his pals in the various roles. I can imagine Tommy Tiernan telling that yarn and getting a good laugh but I can also see the sad side of it in the context of this web site which is devoted to the Irish language.

This forum is a public international space where we and our culture are on display. On this site we wish to see the Irish as heroic, noble, and resurgent, not stupid country bumkins or oafs as we used to be portrayed by our former conquerors and Ascendancy Class.

I know France. I know the beautiful architecture, the art gallaries, and the pride in their own literature and sophistication. I know their military power. I know their lofty distain for everything that is not French. They regard theirs as the pinnacle of human civilisation.

Your story puts all the Irish into stereotypical situations that cause us shame and run us down: the names, the drinking in pubs and using farm implements for fighting, and the language your characters use.

We're on a web site here however that seeks to share knowledge of Irish, to promote it and learn it -- the ancient sophisticated language of our once downtrodden people now thankfully no longer the butt of anyone's jokes. We're as good as the best of them and better than most!

It's an amusing story, Harp, and displays the indomitable confidence of the stage-Irish characters in their own ability to overcome all odds -- except the silly problem of providing enough crisps and guinness for 200,000. Unfortunately for me it strays too far over the line of racial ridicule to let it pass without comment. Sorry. Tá brón orm.

Why not translate it to Irish for us?

a joke, ^

do you want me to translate it into irish for you and add ''a pleidhce'' to the end?

some people . . .

racial ridicule??????????? ffs!

(Message edited by conchubhar1 on March 28, 2009)

It's an amusing story, Harp, and displays the indomitable confidence of the stage-Irish characters in their own ability to overcome all odds -- except the silly problem of providing enough crisps and guinness for 200,000. Unfortunately for me it strays too far over the line of racial ridicule to let it pass without comment. Sorry. Tá brón orm.
-------------------------------------------------------

A Thaighdín a chara…are you familiar with the renowned Irish novelist,playwright, and short story writer darbh ainm Myles na nGopaleen(aka Brian Ó Nualláin) who wrote in English and in Irish…who lampooned the Irish in satiric parodies, and signed off with “Is mise le Scigaithris,Greann, agus Aoir?”

Most of Irish storytelling has to do with the Irish introspection(Inbhreathnú) into their own follies and frailties; and the more you read Irish literature(especially in Irish) the more you will realize that this is the greatest strength of the Irish storyteller(Seanchaí)…to satirize the condition of the Irish mentality(Intinn na nGael)!!

Therefore, I don’t see any racial overtones in this ‘scéal grinn!!’

Is mise le Scigaithris, Greann, agus Aoir!!

Aontaím leat, a Harp. Rinne sé é sa Bhéal Bocht agus At Swim Two Birds agus sna haltanna "AN CRÚISCÍN LÁN". Ach bhí sé ag scríobh fúinn ón taobh istigh. Duine dinn féin a bhí ann. Athbheochan na Gaeilge agus an Ghaeltacht agus dáiríreacht lucht na hAthbheochana a bhí mar ábhar magaidh aige sa leabhar An Béal Bocht. Tá sé léite go minic agam.

Tá sé difriúil nuair a dhéanann duine ón taobh amuigh é. Bhíodh nuachtáin agus music halls Shasana á dhéanamh ar feadh i bhfad go dtí gur chuireamar stop leo. The Irish were not so funny after all and could not be mocked with impunity.

As I said to you earlier -- if Tommy Tiernan or Pat Shortt told that joke on another forum it might be alright -- but on this forum that is dedicated to learning and studying the Irish language -- in my view -- it is not alright.

Is leor sin uaimse.

Aontaím leat, a Harp. Rinne sé é sa Bhéal Bocht agus At Swim Two Birds agus sna haltanna "AN CRÚISCÍN LÁN". Ach bhí sé ag scríobh fúinn ón taobh istigh. Duine dinn féin a bhí ann. Athbheochan na Gaeilge agus an Ghaeltacht agus dáiríreacht lucht na hAthbheochana a bhí mar ábhar magaidh aige sa leabhar An Béal Bocht. Tá sé léite go minic agam.

Tá sé difriúil nuair a dhéanann duine ón taobh amuigh é. Bhíodh nuachtáin agus music halls Shasana á dhéanamh ar feadh i bhfad go dtí gur chuireamar stop leo. The Irish were not so funny after all and could not be mocked with impunity.

As I said to you earlier -- if Tommy Tiernan or Pat Shortt told that joke on another forum it might be alright -- but on this forum that is dedicated to learning and studying the Irish language -- in my view -- it is not alright.

Is leor sin uaimse.

As I said to you earlier -- if Tommy Tiernan or Pat Shortt told that joke on another forum it might be alright -- but on this forum that is dedicated to learning and studying the Irish language -- in my view -- it is not alright.
-----------------------------------------------

Every language course specifies that the first prerequisite to learning and studying any language is to understand the culture and mentality of the speakers!!

'Tis impossible to learn any language(especially Irish) in a vacuum!!

Is mise le meas,

its a story, smiled at it didnt make me laugh really

but, taking it this seriously, seriously?

D’accord…
Mórán cainte ar bheagán cúise!!

My only question is what did the original post have to do with the Irish language?

The forum guidelines state:

quote:

We do request that you keep your postings polite and related to the Irish language.

If it doesn't relate to the Irish language it shouldn't be posted here (HINT: translate it into Irish and THEN let's discuss it's suitability as content... )

If it doesn't relate to the Irish language it shouldn't be posted here (HINT: translate it into Irish and THEN let's discuss it's suitability as content... )

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
…do dhúshlán é a dhéanamh agus a chuid oiriúnachta a phlé ina dhiaidh sin!
An t-ádh ort,

Cé a d'aistrigh é sin duit, a Harp? :-)

quote:

…do dhúshlán é a dhéanamh agus a chuid oiriúnachta a phlé ina dhiaidh sin!
An t-ádh ort,

No, Harp. It shouldn't have been posted in the first place without some relevance to Irish language.

A Bhreandáin--- Soiléiriú níos mó de dhíth
Dá mbeadh an scéal grinn seo scríofa i nGaeilge agus dá bualadh Paddy agus a chairde an t-arm Francach, an mbeadh an scéal seo “ciníoch” fós?…gan bhaint leis an nGaeilge?Tsk!!

Cad chuige níor chealaigh na modhnóirí é, má raibh sé chomh míchuibhiúil?

Curiousfinn, má chum tú an abairt sin tú féin tá Gaeilge den scoth agat agus molaim thú. Botún beag: abair "má bhí". Níl a fhios agam cén fáth nár chealaigh na modhnóirí é. B'fhéidir gur thit siar ón gcathaoir le gáire?

Tá mo Ghaeilgeoir ina "alpha" go fóill... B)
Tá sé próiseas fadálach is taghdach i láthair na huaire.

Bhuel, fair play dhuit, tá éacht á dhéanamh agat. Coinnigh ort.

Níl a fhios agam cén fáth nár chealaigh na modhnóirí é. B'fhéidir gur thit siar ón gcathaoir le gáire?
------------------------------------------------

…agus ina theannta sin…Dá mba an bua é go bhfaigheadh Paddy Ó Brioscáin, bheadh Paddy an tÉarlamh is cáiliúil na hÉireann, nach ea?!!...gan “ciníochas” ná “míchuibheas” ar bith a lua ann!!...faoi mar a rinneadh fíon den uisce!