The Daltaí Boards: "Irish Town Goes Irish"

Irish Town ‘Goes Irish’

April 1, 2006
AP - Killenaule, Ireland

A small town in central Tipperary, Ireland passed a resolution declaring itself to be an “Irish-only town” this week. The only catch is that no one in Killenaule actually speaks Gaelic, Ireland’s ancestral tongue.

Two years ago, the town council, upset at a lack of tourism compared to nearby Cashel hatched a plan for Killenaule to get what they sees as its rightful share. Seeing the tourism explosion in the Gaeltacht, Ireland’s Gaelic speaking area, the town decided that speaking “Gaelic” would allow them to cash in on the craze. So the town of Killenaule hired several of the linguists associated with the creation of the Klingon language for the Star Trek series to help develop a pseudo-language that could be quickly learned by the town residents and yet “sound like” actual Gaelic.

Shaymuss O Dockory, formerly James Doherty, heads the council and proposed the initial resolution two years ago, and happily endorses this passed week’s culmination announcement. He claims such measures are necessary before the so-called Celtic Tiger economy leaves the town behind. “Cashel has the Rock, and is a tourist Mecca. What do we have in Killenaule? Well, now we’ll have this,” said Dockory.

Dockory also claims that the tourists will never know the difference. “They’ll get exactly what they came for. They’ll think they heard people in town speaking Gaelic and go home happy.” The move has caused uproar in nearby Cashel, where signs of protest have been posted all over town decrying Killenaule as a fraud. Residents of Killenaule, however, take it in stride, with most feeling that Cashel is finally getting what they deserve after keeping the Rock to themselves all these centuries.

Dockory also claims that the entire town supports the measure. “The adults have been very enthusiastic about learning it over the last year. Employers give their workers extra time off to learn the language, and nineteen are now fluent and speak nothing else. The children even learn the language in an after-school program so they can participate, too. Most parents reward them for using it while they play with each other.”

Evleen O Boyle, a town resident, added “This is our economy, it’s important to us. We’re all learning it as fast as we can. Most of us have even had the spelling of our names legally changed. It’s really going to give Killenaule an ‘authentic’ feel.”

When asked why the town hasn’t simply learned Gaelic, both responded that other than a few “die-hard yanks” the language simply isn’t spoken by many people, at least not enough to make learning it worthwhile.