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The Daltaí Boards » Archive: 1999-2004 » 2003 (October-December) » I need your help for writing lyrics... « Previous Next »

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Laurent HOSCH (81.240.232.142 - 81.240.232.142)
Posted on Sunday, September 28, 2003 - 11:14 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Hi! I would like to write a song in Irish... No rhyme is required but is strongly recommended :-)

The title would be "VISIONS" (= in dreams)

Here are the following sentences to be translated in Irish :

« Since I was a child I used to dream something very special which still haunts my mind and leads my whole life...

This dream (=vision) began in a large dark room. There were lots of people moving, speaking together but I didn't know them. The most strange thing in that situation was the fact that there was no sound. I felt lost in the crowd and I was looking for a face I could recognize but there was no one. Suddenly I noticed a guy standing in the middle of the poeples. He was gazing at me... Wondering who he could be I decided to join him... His face was so beautiful. He had black sad eyes that asked me to follow him (in the dream)... Then I held him tight to me, in my arms and he weeped tears of joy...

As and when the seasons passed, you told me your name, we felt something strong in our heart; we learnt to love each other...

I've spent many years looking for this guy in my life. I DID know that he exists somewhere...

Finally I've found you... I recognized your smile, your eyes, your soul... and you had the same name : François (=Proinsias). When I looked into your eyes I could read love and promises...

I never told you my dream and you went away however I know I'll find you again beacause you'll stay in my Heart and my Soul forever as you were before I meet you... My Heart suffers but I will wait for you as much as required... I miss you so much... and this dream does continue... »

Many thanks in advance!


Laurent

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Rónán (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 04:37 am:   Edit Post Print Post

He was gazing at me


Bhí sé ag amharc siar ormsa.

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kevin (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 04:38 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Suddenly I noticed a guy standing in the middle of the poeples


Go tobann, chonaic mé fear ina sheasamh í lár an tslua.

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Áine ní chionna (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 04:44 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Since I was a child I used to dream something very special which still haunts my mind and leads my whole life...

Ó bhí mé i mo ghasúr, ba ghnách dom a bheith ag brionglóidí faoi rud éigin ar leith a chuireann eagla an domhain orm go fóill agus a threoraíonn mo shaol ar fad...

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Éamonn (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 04:45 am:   Edit Post Print Post

I felt lost in the crowd and I was looking for a face I could recognize but there was no one.


Bhí mé amú sa slua agus bhí mé ag cuardach éadan a raibh aithne a'm air ach ní raibh duine ar bith ann.

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Síle (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 04:45 am:   Edit Post Print Post

This dream (=vision) began in a large dark room.


Thosaigh an bhrionglóid seo i seomra mór dorcha.

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Amy (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 04:46 am:   Edit Post Print Post

The most strange thing in that situation was the fact that there was no sound.


An rud b'aistí faoi seo, nach raibh torann ar bith ann.

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Oisín (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 04:48 am:   Edit Post Print Post

There were lots of people moving, speaking together but I didn't know them.

Bhí slua mór daoine ag bogadh, ag caint lena chéile ach ní raibh aithne dá laghad agam ar aon duine acu.

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Barra (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 04:51 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Wondering who he could be I decided to join him...


Is mé ag meabhrú, cé a bheadh ann, bhearthaigh mé labhairt leis...

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Aoife Feeney (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 04:52 am:   Edit Post Print Post

His face was so beautiful


Bhí a éadan chomh tarraingteach

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Deirdre (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 06:33 am:   Edit Post Print Post

we felt something strong in our heart; we learnt to love each other...


Mhothaíomar rud éigin láidir in ar gcroí, thiteamar i ngrá le chéile.

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Aoife (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 06:35 am:   Edit Post Print Post

I've spent many years looking for this guy in my life.


Tá an-chuid blianta de mo shaol caite agam ag lorg an fhir seo.

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deirbhile (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 06:37 am:   Edit Post Print Post

He had black sad eyes that asked me to follow him (in the dream)...


Bhí súil dhorcha an bhróin ina cheann a chuir ceist orm é a leanúint sa bhrionglóid

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Eimear (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 06:39 am:   Edit Post Print Post

I DID know that he exists somewhere


Bhí a fhios agam go raibh a leithéid i mball éigin

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Ciara (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 06:41 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Finally I've found you...

tá tú agam faoi dheireadh ...

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Seosamh (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 06:47 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Then I held him tight to me, in my arms and he weeped tears of joy...


Chuach mé le mo chroí ansin é 'gus ghoil sé deora áthais....

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Síne Nic an Ailí (193.1.100.102 - 193.1.100.102)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 06:51 am:   Edit Post Print Post

"As and when the seasons passed, you told me your name"


Le caitheamh na ráithe(=With the spending of the "ráithe", a specifically Irish term for any term of three months)/Le himeacht ama (=With the passing of time), scaoil tú d'ainm liom (=you released your name to me)

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Bradford (216.16.15.66 - 216.16.15.66)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 08:59 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Heh-heh... Well "Rónán", you certainly do like to post under many different handles! In case you didn't notice every post other than the original (and this one) all have the same IP address, meaning they most likely all came from the same computer. :)

- Bradford

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Aonghus (62.77.191.130 - 62.77.191.130)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 09:03 am:   Edit Post Print Post

I'd say it's possibly a school or college class, rather than an individual. (The errata/styles are different in different posts)

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Bradford (216.16.15.66 - 216.16.15.66)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 09:14 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Ahhhh.... Good point, a Aonghuis. That's entirely possible. Perhaps a class project to translate the lyrics?

- Bradford

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Jonas (213.243.176.35 - 213.243.176.35)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 03:13 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

The Irish is also different in quality in the posts, some are very good others contain errors. I'd go for a class.

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Canuck (24.103.116.213 - 24.103.116.213)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 08:05 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

Wow! That was cool. Thank-you mystery class 193.1.100.102!!

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Bradford (24.220.0.48 - 24.220.0.48)
Posted on Thursday, October 02, 2003 - 08:14 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

Aonghus or Jonas, I don't yet have the ability to really critique these translations. However, maybe it would be beneficial to both the original poster and the people providing the translations if you would correct those translations that have errors? It would probably be a learning experience for all of us. :) Something to think about anyway.

- Bradford

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Jonas (213.243.190.37 - 213.243.190.37)
Posted on Friday, October 03, 2003 - 03:31 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

Well, you are welcome to guess ;-)

The biggest difference is in the quality of Irish. This is best illustrated with an English example.

Both of these phrases are correct:
"I could spend my life drowning in in her brown eyes, taking in the softness of her sweet lips, gently letting my fingers run down her nose."

"Her face is ok"

Alright, the examples are overdone but you'll get my point ;-)

There is a huge difference between saying "Finally I've found you" and "Tá tú agam faoi dheireadh". At least I think so. Another point that really struck me was the use of brionglóid for "dream". Since the English version says "dream (vision)" I think this is outright wrong. A brionglóid is a dream at night, like you dream you can fly or you dream about Margret Thatcher blowing up your airplane or that the world is made of cheese or whatever you've dreamed of. (I'm not implying that I've dreamed all of those mentioned things... ;-) )

If you dream about getting your loved one, about an Irish-speaking Ireland, about a just and fair world or something like that, then it's not a "brionglóid", it is an "aisling".

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Seosamh Mac Muirí (193.1.100.104 - 193.1.100.104)
Posted on Saturday, October 04, 2003 - 10:51 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Bail ó Dhia oraibh a chairde. Tá an ceart agaibh gur obair ranga a tharla ar an snáithe anseo thuas. Dhá rang teagaisc a bhí ag scríobh. Scata mac léinn nár thosaigh ar an ollscolaíocht go dtí coicís ó shin a bhí i mbun na hoibre, bail ó Dhia orthu. Caitheadh céad leath na huaire, (9-10 & 11.00-12.00) le guairdeall ar na suíomhanna Gaeilge éagsúla agus dara leath na huaire le roinnt de shliocht Laurent a aistriú.

D'áireoinn na cuspóirí san ord seo a leanas:

aithne a chur ar an ríomhghréasán Gaeilge;
iarracht rud éigin a scríobh i nGaeilge, go poiblí;
an iarracht sin a dhéanamh ar bhealach dea-bhéasach;
cuidiú beag éigin a thabhairt do mhuintir eile an ghréasáin, dá mb'fhéidir sin a dhéanamh.

Bhí 14 mac léinn i láthair an chéad uair an chloig. (9.00 - 10.00) Scríobh naonúr díobh.
13 eile a bhí i láthair idir 11 agus 12.00 Scríobh seachtar díobh siúd.
Tuigfidh sibh nach bhfaighim i mo chlaonadh iad a cheartú, tharla gur mé a spreag chun na hoibre iad. D'fháilteoidís roimh snasadh a gcuid iarrachtaí ó dhaoine eile, dar liom. Is ar shon na foghlama atáimid ag tabhairt faoi. Roghnaíodh iarratas Laurent mar go raibh sé cineál fada mar shliocht le haistriú ag aon duine amháin. Tá an chuid is mó de aistrithe anois acu. Níl a fhios agam ar chaith Laurent súil isteach ó shin ar an lch. Is dóigh go gcloisfimid rud éigin uaithi/uaidh ar ball. De réir post eile cheana, is i dTuath Lugha, nó Duchy Luxemburg atá Luarent.

Mar nóta scoir, is éagsúil taithí ríomhaireachta an dreama seo, chomh maith lena gcuid Gaeilge a bheith ar leibhéil éagsúla, rud a fhágann duine thall is abhus ag cuidiú lena chomhbhádóir isteach is amach sa ghníomhaíocht go léir a bhaineann le dathú, cóipeáil, baint, iompar abairtí chun sprice agus a sábháil san athionad.

Níor luas an ghné is tábhachtaí ar fad, b'fhéidir. Táid anois tar éis bualadh le Bradford na Stát Aontaithe, Aonghus BhÁC/ar ais as an nGearmáin, Jonas na Fionlainne agus le Canuck Cheanada. (Is dócha nach mbeidh éinne acu ag dearcadh isteach anseo ag deireadh na seachtaine, nó b'fhéidir go dtí an Déardaoin seo chugainn.) Comharthaíonn ainmneacha na dtíortha, agus Laurent Tuath Lugha, nach teoranta do Ghaeltacht ná do Ghalltacht na hÉireann a bheas teanga na Gaeilge feasta in INTINN na nÉireannach óg seo thuas a thug freagra ar Laurent. Fíor fíorbheagán díobh a scríobh chuig aon chlár comhrá riamh roimhe seo. An dream beag díobh a scríobh, ba chuig cláracha Béarla a scríobhadar. An tslí a bhfuil sé anois, ó Déardaoin seo caite, tá níos mó acu tar éis scríobh ar chlár comhrá Gaeilge ná mar a scríobh ar chlár comhrá Béarla. Beidh an méid sin le rá acu ar aon nós.

Go raibh maith agaibh as a bheith chomh dea-bhéasach. Is mór an ní go bhfuil clár comhrá ar nós Dhaltaí na Gaeilge ann gur féidir le duine mic/iníonacha léinn a sheoladh isteach ann agus nach dtabharfar fogha futhú, fann nó fíochmar.

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Aonghus (159.134.62.75 - 159.134.62.75)
Posted on Saturday, October 04, 2003 - 02:35 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

Bhí tuairim agam go raibh lámh agatsa sa ghnó, a Sheosamh!
Ní raibh an t-am agam go dtí seo aon cheartú a dhéanamh, agus drogall orm freisin ós rud é gur minic míonbhotúin agam fhéin.


Bhí sé ag amharc siar ormsa. D'fhagann an "siar" ar lár. Agus stánadh a bheadh agamsa ar gazing
Go tobann, chonaic mé fear ina sheasamh í lár an tslua

Ó bhí mé i mo ghasúr, ba ghnách dom a bheith ag brionglóidí faoi rud éigin ar leith a chuireann eagla an domhain orm go fóill agus a threoraíonn mo shaol ar fad...

Ainmfhocal seachas briathair atá i mbrionglóid. taibhrigh an briathar. Ach, mar a luaigh Jonas, d'fheilfeadh Aisling níos fearr sa chomhthéacs. Agus ní doigh liom gurbh ionann "haunt" agus eagla. Mo rogha:
Tá aisling faoi léith agam ó bhíos i'm ghasúr, aisling atá fós liom agus a threoraíonn mo shaol ar fad...

Breis níos deanaí seans, nó deanfaidh duine eile píosa?

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