Hello everyone! I was referred here by a friend (dunno if they're on here), because I am in need of help. I'm writing a novel and would really like some of the dialogue to be in Irish/Celtic/Gaelic (Irish, preferably), but want to make sure I'm not offending anyone. Is anyone here fluent and can help me?
Also wanted to mention that my mother's great grandfather immigrated to the states from Ireland, and I'm very proud of my heritage! :)

(Message edited by Ailyndrael on September 27, 2011)

Well while you're at writing the novel, you could always see about picking up some Irish... it's a wonderful language! Of course a better speaker could tell you better than I about the language... I'm only a beginner.

Yes, I would love to do that as well, but about the only Irish I know is colcannon, bangers and champ, and kerrygold cheese :D

What era is your novel set?

What kind of dialogue?

Would you be prepared to post snippets here for translation - that will get a response, and also means that it will be proof read!

The novel I'm working on is a Celtic retelling of Beauty & The Beast. I'm having a lot of fun weaving in mythology and what not. It takes place in a Medieval era. The dialogue I need help with are these lines:

The creature in the rain paced with agitation, its tufted tail switched angrily. “Is é seo an cailín?” (is this the girl?) it asked in a clear baritone.
The man nodded. “Tá sé.” (it is)

“I am the most beautiful princess in all of the kingdoms,” Glory declared.
The gryphon hissed, the fur on its back bristling. “Greannmhar. (funny/odd) All that I can see is ugly.”

The gryphon’s eyes flashed at Xander. “Tá sí gránna dom. (she is unattractive to me) Send her back.”

“Not good enough, Gryphon. Even an idiot should know how to treat royalty.”
“Labhairt ar a son féin,(speak for yourself)” muttered the gryphon.

The gryphon ground his beak. He sounded bemused. “You are very stupid.”
“What!”
“You have told me, the guardian of this keep, you are trying to escape, and how you plan to do so. You are very stupid, Dúr (Stupid, as in calling someone a fool. If Dúr is the correct word, I'll be giddy. It made think of when people say "Durrrr" and smack their chest). I suppose someone below your station, and equally stupid to dare coming here, would deserve you.”

“Leat amadán, (you fool)” he growled. (calling her an idiot)

“Tá tú dom nimhe,” he muttered.-- Here I am trying to have him express that she makes him weak or imperfect by saying "You infect me". Like she's such a distraction that he can't function.

The gryphon hissed, the fur on his back bristling. “You will not have me. You will not have my gifts. Flowers are dead things, once disturbed, yet you say you like them. Agam nach dtuigeann tú! (I do not understand you)” he squawked with frustration. “What will make you happy?”

“Gcroí agus Inní (gizzards and gullets),” he muttered under his breath. “I am sorry. Your tongue is not my first language. Allow me to make it up to you.”
--essentially he's kind of swearing. Gizzards and gullets/hearts and brains.

a song:
“Croí uasal milis, (sweet noble heart)
gearrtha ag grá agam, (I am wounded by love)
Míshásta agus tá mé ciúin, (so that I am sad and pensive)
Ná aon áthas nó pléisiúir dóigh liom gur. (and have no joy or mirth)
Le haghaidh a thabhairt duit
mo anam cara is grá, (for to you my sweet companion)
Tá mé mo chroí a thabhairt dá bhrí sin. (have I thus given my heart)”

Winterholme Castle was still as Glory slept peacefully, until she heard a woman’s voice calling her in the darkness.
“Ailyndrael…” (Glory)
Glory did not recognize the name.
“Dúisigh, Ailyndrael.” (awake, Glory)
Glory sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Who is there?”
“Ní mór duit a dhéanamh ar shaoire, Ailyndrael.” (You must make haste, Glory)
Glory pushed back the covers and began looking for the owner of this voice.
“I mbaol a contúirt é Eoghan.” The voice was becoming more urgent. (Eoghan is in grave danger)
“Who are you? What do you want?”
“Ní mór duit dul dó. A dhéanamh faoi dheifir!” (You must leave now. Hurry!)
Glory got out of bed and started following the voice.
“A dhéanamh faoi dheifir, Ailyndrael, a dhéanamh faoi dheifir!” (Hurry, Glory, Hurry)
Glory ran down the hall. “I am coming!”
“Tarrthála Eoghan.” (Save Eoghan)
Glory breathlessly raced through the castle and followed the voice out in to the courtyard where a black horse awaited.

“Ailyndrael…” (Glory)
Glory recognized the feminine voice.
“Síocháin a chur ribh.” (Be at peace)
Glory saw herself in an evergreen field with white flowers in a white dress. The view was warm and dreamy.
“A bheith ar do chompord dea- Ailyndrael, do beidh gach ar fud an domhain a dhéanamh ceart.” (Be at peace, Glory, for all will be right in the world)
Little faeries placed a garland upon her golden locks in the sunlight. For a moment, Glory felt at ease, and the dream faded away.


so how off am I? Laughable, I'm sure. I hope I wasn't spewing anything offensive!

I only read the first couple of things that you wrote and I'm just a learner, but here are a few corrections to the first 2 sentences:

An í seo an cailín? - Is this the girl?

Is í. - Yes, it is.

Also, I don't think you can just use the word greannmhar by itself like that; I think you need to say "That's odd" instead of just the word "odd" by itself.

Ah well, it's getting late so I'm gonna call it a night and leave this for the REAL experts around here

It really depends on whether you want to use anachronistic modern Irish or medieval Irish. The differences are not as great as they are in English, but they are there.

What you have is somewhat broken. WFM caught the first one.
I don't recognise 'Ailyndrael' and there has never been a y used in Irish.

she is unattractive to me	Níl sí tarraingteach dom OR Is gránna liom í
you fool	A oinseach
I do not understand you	Ní thuigim tú
gizzards and gullets	Not an Irish oath. I suggest 'In ainm Chroim'

More later, perhaps. But if you are going to have a lot of Irish dialogue you will really need to get an Irish editor.

speak for yourself

Labhair ar do shon féin (But this is really an English modern idiom)

quote:

“Tá tú dom nimhe,” he muttered.-- Here I am trying to have him express that she makes him weak or imperfect by saying "You infect me". Like she's such a distraction that he can't function.

You could have a look at the poem being discussed here: http://www.daltai.com/cgi-sys/cgiwrap/daltai/discus/show.pl?tpc=20&post=99879#PO ST99879

"Is nimh dom tú" would be correct, but far too strong for your meaning.

For the song, I suggest you find a suitable existing one. There are plenty!

Thank you Aonghus!
The song is an existing one, but it's in French.
Fins cuers doulz, joliete, Sweet noble heart, pretty lady,
Amouretes m'ont navré; I am wounded by love
Por ce sui mas et pensis, so that I am sad and pensive,
Si n'a en moy jeu ne ris, and have no joy or mirth,
Car a vous, conpaignete, for to you, my sweet companion,
Ay mon cuer einsi doné. I have thus given my heart.

as far as gizzards and gullets not being an Irish oath. Aren't there similar words for it? It's the gryphon's own little made up cuss.

There are dozens of amour courtois songs in Irish, which will be better than attempting to translate another.

gizzard: eagaois
http://www.potafocal.com/Metasearch.aspx?Text=gizzard&GotoID=focal

gullet: scórnach

Won't pack the same punch!

Once again I wanted to thank you, Aonghus, for helping me. Could you kindly double check this part for me? I'm afraid I got off a little bit on the translation.

Winterholme Castle was still as Glory slept peacefully, until she heard a woman’s voice calling her in the darkness.
“Ailyndrael…”
Glory did not recognize the name.
“Ní mór duit brostú, Ailyndrael.”
Glory sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Who is there?”
“Ní mór duit a dhéanamh ar shaoire, Ailyndrael.”
Glory pushed back the covers and began looking for the owner of this voice.
“Tá Eoghan i mbaol mór.” The voice was becoming more urgent.
“Who are you? What do you want?”
“Imigh anois. Brostaigh!”
Glory got out of bed and started following the voice.
“Brostaigh, Ailyndrael, brostaigh!”
Glory ran down the hall. “I am coming!”
“Tarrthála Eoghan.”
Glory breathlessly raced through the castle and followed the voice out in to the courtyard where a black horse awaited.

“Ní mór duit a dhéanamh ar shaoire, Ailyndrael.”
“Tarrthála Eoghan.”
These are wrong.


Should be:
Ní mór duit brostú
Tarrtháil Eoghan

thank you!