i'm trying to translate the following passage into irish for a friend's passing. is it ok? improvements/corrections welcome!
GRMA
Dáithí

"The den in the early morning
The sunrise and the fall
The passing by of stragers
the blackbird's early call
The gentle rain that cleanses
The spiders' woven web
The path we have to follow;
I'll meet you up ahead."

An phluais go luath ar maidín
An t-éirí na gréine's a luí
Strainséirí ag gabhal thart
An scairt na céirsigh
An fhearainn séimh ag titeann
An cosán a chaithigh tú lean
Buailfidh mé leat ar aghaidh...

Ar dheis Dé go raibh anam do charad.

You've managed the most of it, Dáithí. Here are a few suggestions for starters:


...
éirí na gréine's a luí
scairt luath na céirsí
gabháil thart na strainséirí
an fhearthainn chaoin a ghlanann
líon fite damháin alla
an chonair is dual dúinn
...

Buailfidh mé leat ar aghaidh...

oder:

Buailfidh mé leat níos faide anonn


or maybe this final couplet might fit nicely together:

ar an gconair is dual dúinn
buailfidh mé leat níos faide anonn




(Message edited by ormondo on October 28, 2009)

Maybe "go moch" might be better in the first line as "luath" appears on the third line.


An phluais go moch ar maidín
éirí na gréine's a luí
scairt luath na céirsí
gabháil thart na strainséirí
an fhearthainn chaoin a ghlanann
líon fite damháin alla
ar an gconair is dual dúinn
buailfidh mé leat níos faide anonn.

Go raibh míle maith agat a Ormondo - that sounds much better!
le gach dea-ghuí
Dáithí