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The Daltaí Boards » Archive: 2005- » 2007 (March-April) » Archive through March 19, 2007 » Dán « Previous Next »

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Antaine
Member
Username: Antaine

Post Number: 1025
Registered: 10-2004


Posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 - 11:13 pm:   Small TextLarge TextEdit Post Print Post

okay...time for final edits and suggestions (I'm open to suggestions, just please explain the reasons behind the idea so I can better understand why) - thanks:


An Crann
(don Cat Dubh)

Tá crann ann, lán-chraobhach
Ithimid uathu gach lá
Ach cé gur craobhacha go leor ann
Le torthaí éagsúla ar gach craobh
Tá claonadh againn chun toradh aon géag amháin a ithe.

Ach ina dhiaidh sin, chonaic mé craobh ársa, gan aird le fada
‘s in aice leis chruinnigh slua
shín mé mo lámh amach chun giota a bhaint uaidh
Agus mé ag ithe a thoradh mhilis
D’osclaíodh mo shúile go rúndiamhrach!

Ach ba gheata ar oscailt an ceann seo
Isteach sa ghairdín,
‘s ba bheannacht mo shúile oscailte.
Neamhchosúil leis an gcéad uair
A leithéid de thoradh a ghlacadh

D’fhéach mé ar gach éinne a chruinnigh thart -
D’ith gach aon ar chúiseanna éagsúla.
Saothraíodh cuid dá dteaghlaigh daoine an craobh
D’aois ó shin.
Ba núíosaigh daoine eile

Tagadh cuid acu na oilc stáire a cur i gceart
Nuair a thagadh cuid eile chun ghriogadh.
chuardaigh cuid acu tuiscint, báíocht cuid eile.
chuardaigh cuid acu comhrá lena seacht sinsear,
Cuid eile, cuid seandacht a bheith.

bhaineamar go léir tairbhe as an lá sin
Cuid acu na rudaí a raibh siad ag súil
Cuid acu rudaí gan choinne.
‘s d’fhiafraigh gach ceann againn é féin
Cén géag a íosfaimid uaidh amárach.

Mar tá obair de dhíth chun an toradh a mhealladh é ón gcraobh
‘s bhí easpa diongbháilteachta ar mórán daoine.
Ach sinne a fhill, lá i ndiaidh lá,
Fuaireamar an toradh níos milse ná riamh,
De réir mar a itheamar é.

Faoi dheireadh, cé acu a bhéas ag súil linn ‘s cé nach mbeadh
Sinne ag fanacht, bhí ár intinní ar oscailt
‘s chonaiceamar an domhain as an nua
Trí shúile seanda atá orainn féin
An blas milis ar ár dteangacha fós

-Antaine 2007

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Tríona (Unregistered Guest)
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Posted on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 12:57 am:   Small TextLarge TextEdit Post Print Post

Is maith an smaoineamh é dán a scríobh.
Pointe beag le tosnú
cé gur
cé go bhfuil = even though there is/are

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Dennis
Member
Username: Dennis

Post Number: 2808
Registered: 02-2005


Posted on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 12:16 pm:   Small TextLarge TextEdit Post Print Post

An Crann
(don Cat Dubh)

Chat séimhiú ar lorg "don"

Tá crann ann, lán-chraobhach
Ithimid uathu gach lá
Ach cé gur craobhacha go leor ann

go bhfuil (mar a dúirt Caitríona)

Le torthaí éagsúla ar gach craobh
Tá claonadh againn chun toradh aon géag amháin a ithe.

ghéige séimhiú ar lorg "aon" + ginideach

Ach ina dhiaidh sin, chonaic mé craobh ársa, gan aird (uirthi) le fada
‘s in aice leis chruinnigh slua

léi tá craobh baininscneach

The complete idiom is "aird ar X".

shín mé mo lámh amach chun giota a bhaint uaidh

uaithi ditto

Agus mé ag ithe a thoradh mhilis

a toraidh ditto + ginideach

D’osclaíodh mo shúile go rúndiamhrach!

Ach ba gheata ar oscailt an ceann seo
Isteach sa ghairdín,
‘s ba bheannacht mo shúile oscailte.
Neamhchosúil leis an gcéad uair
A leithéid de thoradh a ghlacadh

D’fhéach mé ar gach éinne a chruinnigh thart -
D’ith gach aon ar chúiseanna éagsúla.
Saothraíodh cuid dá dteaghlaigh daoine an craobh
D’aois ó shin.


Ní thuigim an líne seo.

Ba núíosaigh daoine eile

Tagadh cuid acu na oilc stáire a cur i gceart

Tháinig ? Nó thagadh (past habitual = used to come) ?

Nuair a thagadh cuid eile chun ghriogadh.

to tease? griogadh gan séimhiú ar lorg "chun" Strictly speaking, you should have genitive after "chun": "chun griogtha", but I'd be much happier with some other phrasing entirely.

chuardaigh cuid acu tuiscint, báíocht cuid eile.
chuardaigh cuid acu comhrá lena seacht sinsear,
Cuid eile, cuid seandacht a bheith.

Ní thuigim. As Béarla?

bhaineamar go léir tairbhe as an lá sin
Cuid acu na rudaí a raibh siad ag súil

ag súil leo The complete idiom requires "le".

Cuid acu rudaí gan choinne.
‘s d’fhiafraigh gach ceann againn é féin
Cén géag a íosfaimid uaidh amárach.

ghéag ... uaithi bainiscneach
a n-íosfaimid indirect relative

Mar tá obair de dhíth chun an toradh a mhealladh é ón gcraobh

Fág "é" ar lár. Not needed, and not optional.

‘s bhí easpa diongbháilteachta ar mórán daoine.

mhórán séimhiú tar éis "ar" (But on second thought, a lot of folks say "ar mórán", too.)

Ach sinne a fhill, lá i ndiaidh lá,

a d'fhill
lae ginideach

Fuaireamar an toradh níos milse ná riamh,
De réir mar a itheamar é.

Faoi dheireadh, cé acu a bhéas ag súil linn ‘s cé nach mbeadh
Sinne ag fanacht, bhí ár intinní ar oscailt

ár n-intinní urú tar éis "ár"

‘s chonaiceamar an domhain as an nua

domhan = world; "domhain" = deep

Trí shúile seanda atá orainn féin
An blas milis ar ár dteangacha fós

An-deas! Lean ort!

(Message edited by dennis on March 09, 2007)

"An seanchas gearr,
an seanchas is fearr."


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Antaine
Member
Username: Antaine

Post Number: 1028
Registered: 10-2004


Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 12:13 pm:   Small TextLarge TextEdit Post Print Post

Go raibh maith agat. le soiléiriú;


Saothraíodh cuid dá dteaghlaigh daoine an craobh
D’aois ó shin.

"the families of some had cultivated the bough / ages ago"




Tagadh cuid acu na oilc stáire a cur i gceart

"some had come to right the wrongs of history"




Don't know what i was thinking with this typo. The line should read:

Nuair a thagadh cuid eile a intinne a ghriogadh

"while others came to tantalize their minds"



Cuid eile, cuid seandacht a bheith

"Others, to be part of something ancient"



ach sinne a d'fhill, lá i ndiadh lá

do both "lá"s become "lae"s?

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Fear_na_mbróg
Member
Username: Fear_na_mbróg

Post Number: 1444
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 06:17 pm:   Small TextLarge TextEdit Post Print Post

quote:

D’osclaíodh mo shúile go rúndiamhrach!

My eyes were opened: Osclaíodh
My eyes used to open: D'osclaíodh

quote:

Agus mé ag ithe a thoradh mhilis

a toraidh ditto + ginideach

An bhfuilir cinnte faoi sin? Tá fhios agam go ndéarfaí:

ag ithe toraidh
ag ithe toradh milis (ginideach ar lár)
ag ithe an toraidh
ag ithe an toraidh mhilis

Ach níl fhios agam an mbeadh an ginideach ag teastáil dá gcuirfeá duine in áit an ailt, i.e. "a thoradh milis".

quote:

De réir mar a itheamar é.

a d'itheamar

-- Fáilte Roimh Cheartú --
Ná húsáidigí focail Béarla agus sibh ag labhairt Gaeilge liom, le bhur dtoil. Ní thabharfaidh mé freagra do theachtaireacht ar bith a bhfuil "Gaeilge" neamhghlan inti.

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Antaine
Member
Username: Antaine

Post Number: 1029
Registered: 10-2004


Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 07:31 pm:   Small TextLarge TextEdit Post Print Post

a fhear,

"its (f) sweet fruit" ní "the sweet fruit"

"a toraidh mhilis," nach bhfuil?

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Dennis
Member
Username: Dennis

Post Number: 2838
Registered: 02-2005


Posted on Monday, March 12, 2007 - 11:55 am:   Small TextLarge TextEdit Post Print Post

quote:

ag ithe an toraidh mhilis

Ach níl fhios agam an mbeadh an ginideach ag teastáil dá gcuirfeá duine in áit an ailt, i.e. "a thoradh milis".

In ordinary speech I'm sure we'd hear plenty of the latter, with everyone avoiding using the genitive whenever possible. But in careful written Irish we do use the genitive even after a possessive pronoun. Two examples from na Bráithre:

teach m'athar

a insint mo scéil
quote:

a d'itheamar

Good catch!

"An seanchas gearr,
an seanchas is fearr."


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Dennis
Member
Username: Dennis

Post Number: 2839
Registered: 02-2005


Posted on Monday, March 12, 2007 - 12:28 pm:   Small TextLarge TextEdit Post Print Post

Saothraíodh cuid dá dteaghlaigh daoine an craobh
D’aois ó shin.

"the families of some had cultivated the bough / ages ago"


Shaothraíodh = used to work, till, cultivate

But I think the simple past "shraothraigh" might be better in this context.

"cuid dá dteaghlaigh" or "cuid de na teaghlaigh" (I prefer the latter) and drop "daoine" entirely

an chraobh (fem. again)

ages ago =/= "d'aois ó shin"

Rather you might say "ó chianaibh".


Tagadh cuid acu na oilc stáire a cur i gceart

"some had come to right the wrongs of history"


Tháinig cuid acu le héagóracha na staire a chur i gceart.


Don't know what i was thinking with this typo. The line should read:

Nuair a thagadh cuid eile a intinne a ghriogadh

"while others came to tantalize their minds"


... cuid eile chun a / lena n-intinn a ghriogadh

Note that the possessive "a = their" causes eclipsis, thus the "n-" before a vowel: "a n-intinn".

We were recently discussing using singular nouns instead of plurals. This is a good example, in that I think the singulgar "intinn" (mind) works better than the plural "intinní" here, even though we're talking about more than one person.


Cuid eile, cuid seandacht a bheith

"Others, to be part of something ancient"


Cuid eile le bheith páirteach i rud ársa


ach sinne a d'fhill, lá i ndiadh lá

do both "lá"s become "lae"s?


No, just "lá i ndiaidh lae", since complex prepositions (i ndiaidh, tar éis, ar son, etc.) are followed by the genitive.

"An seanchas gearr,
an seanchas is fearr."


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Antaine
Member
Username: Antaine

Post Number: 1030
Registered: 10-2004


Posted on Monday, March 12, 2007 - 10:06 pm:   Small TextLarge TextEdit Post Print Post

go raibh míle maith agat =)



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