Greetings, and sorry for the abrupt intrusion and I'll apologize in advance for butchering anything. :)

Long story, so I'll sum up as best I can. I'm trying to aid a friend in modifying the lyrics of Siúl ó Rún to fit a male perspective. His goal is to maintain the lament, as this is to be showing a man's grief at the death of his love. But while the verses in English have modified well, the chorus is rather sticky...

The original, as I understand it, talks of escaping, or eloping, and having a safe journey, which really doesn't fit. Would anyone have any suggestions in how to modify it, and can you translate them into Irish? My thoughts on it follow.

Original:

Siúl, Siúl, Siúl, a rún
Siúl go socair agus siúl go ciúin
Siúl go dtí an doras agus ealaigh liom
Is go dté tú mo mhúirnín slán

We would need to keep the siúl a rún intact, since it's the title, but could it be changed to say 'I walk' instead of just 'walk'? Siúl mise go sochair?
Then, in the third line, instead of saying 'walk to the door and flee with me' maybe it could say 'I walk each day and look for you' followed by 'is go dté tú mo mhúirnín fada'...if that transliterates to 'it is a long journey, my love'.

Here's hoping this makes some sort of sense. And if you're curious, his first arrangement of this piece is here.

Basically, the right chorus is:

Siúil, siúil, siúil, a rún
Siúil go socair agus siúil go ciúin
Siúil go doras agus éalaigh liom
Is go dté tú, ’mo mhuirnín, slán

Thanks Lughaidh, I almost had the original correct. Do you have any ideas on how this could be changed to say 'I walk', though? Or how to change the third and fourth lines?

Thanks,
Rae

Hum, what exactly do you want to get? COuld you give me your English version of what you are looking for? It will bea easier for me to translate... Thanks

Oh! Sure! I thought I had in the first post, but evidently I need to translate my English! Hehe.

I'll try line by line with what I understand as the translation, then what I'd like to say instead. And please tell me if my translations are incorrect. :S

Siúil go socair agus siúil go ciúin is Walk swiftly and walk silently.
I'd like to say I walk sadly and silently so would that be "Siúil mise go brónach agus siúil go ciúin"?

Siúil go doras agus éalaigh liom is Walk to the door and flee with me.
I'd change it to I walk until we meet again, and I have no clue on how to phrase that... Siúil mise go dtí buail le muid athuair? Is it even remotely close?

Is go dté tú, ’mo mhuirnín, slán is And safe journey to you, my love.
It is a long journey, my love would work better. Would that be ... Is go dté tú, ’mo mhúirnín, fada?

Thank you so much for your help on this!

Best,
Rae

>I'd like to say I walk sadly and silently so would that >be "Siúil mise go brónach agus siúil go ciúin"?

Siúlaim go brónach agus (siúlaim) go ciúin.

>Siúil go doras agus éalaigh liom is Walk to the door >and flee with me.
>I'd change it to I walk until we meet again, and I have >no clue on how to phrase that... Siúil mise go dtí >buail le muid athuair? Is it even remotely close?

Siúlaim go gcasfar ar a chéile muid aríst.
(Bualadh le duine is to meet someone on purpose. Casadh ar dhuine is to meet someone by chance)

>Is go dté tú, ’mo mhuirnín, slán is And safe journey to >you, my love.
>It is a long journey, my love would work better. Would >that be ... Is go dté tú, ’mo mhúirnín, fada?

Is go dté tú, ’mo mhuirnín, slán.
or: Is fada an turas, ’mhuirnín. (with "journey")

Wonderful! Thank you very much for your help on this.

What would be the formation of the sentence if I wished to use the purposeful meeting?

Bleh. Forgot to ask about that last line:

>Is go dté tú, ’mo mhuirnín, slán.
>or: Is fada an turas, ’mhuirnín. (with "journey")

I thought slán referred to safety. Am I understanding correctly that it can be used to infer distance as well?